Nearly three months into my big trip with my boyfriend, I gained insights into couples travel. Sure, we may have met traveling and gone on a few week-long trips here and there, but three months is travel and closeness on a different level.
Above all, communicating with your partner is the most obvious and important lesson that can be reiterated. On a trip where you rely on each other every day, you need to be extra sure the other knows what you feel and want. Don't go thinking the other is a mind reader!
Besides that important lesson, here are my top five that perhaps other soon-to-be traveling couples will find helpful.
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1. Keep Your Date Nights
I love travel because it's full of new experiences: new restaurants, environments, and sights. However, after a while, it gets tiring to run around from place to place and try to take it all in.
I recommend keeping a date night where you go out like normal, doing something familiar without the need to "see" or "do" in a travel sense. Get dressed nicely for a splurge dinner, or go to the movies (hopefully in English).
The night my boyfriend and I decided to head to an American-style steakhouse in Russia for a splurge dinner on our own felt like the ultimate treat. We didn't take any food photos or worry about budgets; no menu decoding was necessary. We just relaxed and felt comfortable.
Since my other half works long hours in his everyday Sydney life, I took care of most of the pre-trip prep. When that involves 3.5 months, seven countries, multiple visa applications, and a 3-week train trip through Russia coordinated with other travelers, it can get to the point where you're sitting at the computer, balling your eyes out because of the stress.
While he couldn't help much in the pre-travel days, the on-the-road delegation saved us. With my continued writing responsibilities and multiple stops over 3.5 months, we've each researched hostels, transport, and tours in a manner that made it so one person isn't getting burned out more than the other. I also recommend sharing translation/language duties if possible.
The time and effort I spent playing Russian translator in Kyrgyzstan were exhausting, so I was more than happy to hand over the duties of Mandarin in China to my boyfriend, who was willing to go the extra mile to learn.
3. Don't Keep to Yourselves
The joy of traveling with a loved one is spending quality time together, especially since you don't have to worry about leaving for work every day. And, even though taking advantage of every minute together is fun, don't forget to reach out and make friends with others along the way.
Some of our best moments have been befriending other travelers when out and about, and those connections help us put our travels into perspective and our time together.
4. Keep the Plans Relaxed
When it comes to travel, you never know how things will pan out until you get somewhere. If you're the type of person who wants to cram an itinerary full, keeping it busy from the time the plane lands and leaves, chances are there is just more chance of things going wrong.
It is one thing to have plans foiled when you're alone, but being with a partner and dealing with unmet expectations can cause stress, often leading to bickering.
Another consideration is that people get tired, sick, or prefer to participate in different activities that might pop up while on a trip. When I got pretty ill back at the end of April, which I'm sure resulted from too much hectic travel up until then, I couldn't do anything for a good week.
We were lucky to have a flexible schedule for the following few weeks, which allowed us to relax while I recovered without too much drama or the feeling that one partner was missing out on something amazing because of the inconvenience.
5. Keep a Little Distance So Your Heart Stays Fond
You don't have to travel to different cities for a few nights. The distance can be as simple as one person staying at the hostel while the other goes clothes shopping.
Our distance of choice on our trip has been my boyfriend heading off to the shops to pick up travel supplies and beer; it's always an adventure for him, and he always comes back with some great stories to share that are just his.
Other ideas involve zoning out with headphones, getting lost in books, or going alone for a walk or morning exercise. We all need breaks from time to time.
